When we moved to Dallas I went from working full-time to being a full-time stay at home mom. I went from working from 9 until 5:30, navigating childcare, meetings, family time, etc. to being family time 100%. Has it been hard? Definitely. Do I want to go back to work? Sometimes. But in my heart, home is where I need to be and desire to be most. I know God has me at home during this season for a purpose and that purpose is not only for me to invest in the boys, but also for God to invest in me. With my time at home, I have learned so much that I want to share through a little Q and A.
What has been the hardest transition from working to staying at home?
For me, it was redefining my identity. All my life I have always been in the business of accomplishment, completing tasks, and doing. I realized that I had wrapped a lot of my identity in what I did and not who I was. Being at home has helped me gain a healthy perspective of my identity by wrapping myself in who I am by how God defines me. My identity is not found in what I do, whether it is work, wifehood, or motherhood, but who I am per God.
What has been the best part of being at home?
I am not usually someone to have just one reason. I am a “d. all of the above” kind of person. So here are some of my best reasons…
- My kids – I have the opportunity to watch them grow, learn and experience new things.
- Organization – For so long I was juggling so many things that I did not have the time to “be on top” of things at home and now I have that time.
- Availability – I have the opportunity to be available for my husband, family and friends.
- Food – Could not leave out food. LOL. I love having the time to plan and prepare food for our family and friends.
What are some lessons learned from the transition?
- God isn’t not done with you yet – Staying at home has revealed so much in me that God is still working on, especially patience and self-control. J When you think you have climbed up and conquered that “mountain”, another one appears and you start the climb again. Be encouraged when this happens. God is in the business of making us more like Him everyday and He does this with every mountain.
- Take time to be with your kids whether working or staying at home – We can all become busy and tired no matter where you are or what you are doing in life. When working, I wish I had been more present with my kids when I came home. I would go through the motions of cooking, bath-time, and bedtime and lost moments of being with them. And now, I can easily get busy with “to dos” at home and find myself in the same place. If you are working or at home, I want to encourage you to set time to be present with your kids. One of my tricks is putting my phone on the counter and sitting on the floor. Your kids will pile on you bringing you books, toys or simply sitting with you. Mine absolutely love this and I love it, too.
- Learn to dance – This has been my motto for many years and even more now that I am home. When feeling overwhelmed or like the kids have taken crazy pills, I turn on some tunes and we dance. Something about it makes everyone smile and forget the moment. We have fun, we laugh and we move on.
- “You” time is okay – For so long I have felt that taking time for me was selfish or I felt like I was abandoning my family, but oh how I have learned that it is so necessary. For me it is a time of refueling, refocusing and regaining composure. Bottom line is we are actually better for our families if we take this time. Your family deserves the best you and for me, I am at my best when I can take some time…it is more than okay, it is necessary.
- I am guilty of still checking my emails multiple times throughout the day.
- Seeing a blank calendar is no fun, so I fill it with mom appointments, which are definitely important and need to be remembered.
- Grocery shopping might have become my favorite outing and I use it as a learning time for the kids.
- I have renamed stay-at-home mom to personal home chef as the kids now think they are hungry every 30 minutes.
- Staying at home may be harder than working, but it is more than worth it and I am so honored and thankful for the opportunity.
If you have any questions or some lessons learned, let’s talk (see comments).