“Why is it just with me?” I do not know about you, but as a mom I have this question many times during the week. The kids are with their dad running to the store and dad returns to tell you how perfect they were. You pick the kids up from school and the teachers brag on how well-behaved your children have been . The kids leave for the weekend to be with their grandparents and when you pick them up they call your kids “sweet angels”. Yep, these are a few of the scenarios I have lived through and have many more to share if you would like to hear. 🙂
I am not sure if it is because I am home with them more or what, but my sons like to have the most tantrums, fights and crazy moments with me more than anyone else. Even my husband will say in confusion, “I just don’t understand.” (Feels good to know someone sees it, too, and I am not crazy. LOL. ) Well I didn’t understand either until I started thinking more about it, reading a few articles and talking with other moms.
Here a few things I have learned. These have encouraged me and I hope they encourage you if you are experiencing any mom vs. kids’ moments.
1. Your kids feel safer with you so any feelings and emotions they don’t share with others, they decide to share with you. Yep, mom you are their safe place and in their safe place they will let their emotions free.
2. Your kids are literally with you more, which means the more time with you the more opportunities for crazy to arise.
3. Your kids, especially if they are between the ages of 2 to 5, see every day as a day to test boundaries. When they are in an unfamiliar place, they are more likely to play it safe, but when they are in the familiar the greater likelihood for them to take the risk and push the boundaries you have set. So moms, stay strong and keep the boundaries set in your home. Let your “no” be “no” and your “yes” be “yes”. The more consistent you are, the more your kids will realize that they cannot move the boundaries no matter how much they try.
Therefore, when you are feeling defeated and/or asking yourself “why is it just with me”, realize it is not you. You are not defeated. You are not failing as a mom. You just happen to be the person that your child feels safest with and is usually with the most. Despite how hard the day may be, try to realize this. In the next crazy moment as your kids are pushing the boundaries and/or letting their emotions free, remind yourself that you are their safe place. Remember every day you have the opportunity to keep the boundaries in place. Take being the safe place as a gift. Take every day to stay strong and keep the boundaries set. And most importantly, take every day to love them through and through. This doesn’t fix the chaos, but I pray and hope it may encourage you to see things differently in the midst of it all.